Let's attach "Wedding" to random stuff and make profit!

What has been on the top of my mine recently? Obviously not blogging. And not even gaming. I'm still at Chapter 5 of Drake's Fortune after starting it a month ago. Last night I went back to it after a week or two of hiatus and got shot to death because I forgot how to take cover.

Unfortunately, it's the planning of the wedding. Now I get it. It's a celebration of two people's love and the union of two families and blessing of all your friends, human beings are social animals like dolphins, blah, blah blah. I get it. As soon as the engagement was announced, we were caught in the whirlwind of it all. Bridal show (we only went to one and didn't see half of it, it was just as atrocious as it sounds), shopping for venues, budget, calling fellow friends who are also planning a wedding, dresses, photographers, invitations, theme, photobooth - Stop. Hammer time.

Now for those who haven't yet planned a wedding (and to naive-doremish, circa pre-engagement), you know you want a small wedding with your closest friends and family, something simple. We all heard that before. Mine was particularly dreamy - outdoor ceremony followed by a barbecue, 100 peeps max and everyone would know everyone. No stupid games and shit. I'd be wearing a short white dress. There would be plenty of flowers and cocktails.

Reality is, a bitch. The thing is, you start seeing the roadblocks. Confused, you go back and read the definition again "celebration of families and friends about union of two people" you realize, contrary to those fancy glossy magazines and whatever Shopaholics Ties the Knot try to tell you - it's not about you. Families. Friends. Union. And theeeeen lastly, you. The definition of family and friend is also very broad, it includes the parents' friends and their cousins whom you've never met - I'm serious! There is no fairy tale here, or the entire banquet hall industry wouldn't survive and Toronto parks would be making profits. So, get over that doremish and then you can start planning for the wedding. Hey, a celebration can take many forms, so, 10 course Chinese wedding in a banquet hall it is, then. After all, the economy needs stimulating, and TSX is down 100 points, and stuff.

But wait. The wedding industry isn't just about banquet hall and caterer, is it? What about that photobooth, that was neat wasn't it, at so-and-so's wedding? That's what I thought too when I started begrudgingly signing up and reading those "wedding ideas" boards.

Behold, people of the rationally-thinking type. Do you know what this thing costs for a 3-hour rental?

Go ahead, take a guess. No, higher. No, still higher. It's $1200, or for a limited time only, $875, plus taxes. Now, we all know the new iPad3 is coming out in approximately 8 days, it will be the holy grail of millions of hipsters and geeks. These things pretty much do everything except for cooking and cleaning... it's more HD than an HDTV for god's sake. SO MANY PIXELS WHERE DO I STARE? Look at it. Back at your man. Back at it. Sadly your man isn't it.

Now to put things into perspective. The biggest mother of iPad3 stands at 9.5 inches tall and weighs in at 1.46 lbs, with 4G technology and 64 GB of space under its belt. It costs a whooping $849. That's $30 cheaper than the cheapest booth. You can get an iPad 3 and have enough change for a lot of socks and hair elastics.

"But doremish!" the wedding-fairy exclaims, "the booth comes with an attendant and your guests can print out funny pictures of them real time and keep them all wrinkled up in their pocket or purses! They would have soooo much fun! It's a once in a life time thing, you'd want it to be perfect don't you?"

Why do I need an attendant, by the way? Isn't the whole idea of a photobooth to eliminate the need for a human attendant? Why you standing around there if you ain't taking no picture and letting me know when to say Cheese?!

Besides, doesn't the iPad3 take pictures? And I get to keep that goddamn piece of sexy for less than what photobooth-pricks charge. I mean people, feel free to use my paddy to email  your aunt Greta in Germany if she's not already at my wedding, hooray technology!

What do I get after 3 hours of photoboothing? Oh thank you, a photo-album! Why, oh my, *tears* I'm so touched, I couldn't have done it with the 65412 of album making websites out there. Here's my money. Take it.  No I insist. I can't ever repay you - how about my first born? please? please. I insist.

EFFING RIDICULOUS. SO MAD. DOREMISH OUT.