Being Grown Up, 1983 style.

I'm 28 already, and my mom had me (her second kid) around my age. It's so hard to imagine that people born a mere generation ago, are usually married with kids by the time they are my age. Is it just me? Or are we actually an entire generation of late bloomers?

A few things in life makes me feel uncomfortably "grown up". Say, for example, the title "manager". When I think of a manager, I think of the pointy-haired-boss in Dilbert. I'm so completely unmanagerial - perhaps it's because I haven't grown into my role, or something, but it is one of those things that make me wonder if I should be more mature than I am now. Especially when every time my own pointy-haired-boss speak to me, every sentences must start with "At this level now, you are expected to..."

Well. Gee. Keep expecting.

What are the managers expected to be like, out there in the industry? Note that I'm not talking about accounting firms, where really no one cares what you do as long as you put in 60 hours a week and get your shit done. Out there, on the almighty Bay Street (which was poorly occupied by that Occupy movement, epic fail Toronto protesters), here's the general blanket desired profile, based on my observation.

They are responsible people, they know to do and say the right thing. Preferably family people, or married, shows that they are settled and know commitment. They can gather up people when people are clowning around too much and herd them back into the right direction. They are usually smart at least at something, but are able to share relevant insight or seemingly great ideas, and can crack a few politically correct golf or car related jokes. They never run, or hop - they walk. They own a Blackberry.

Weeeell let's look at how I, circle, fit into manager, square. I still make poop jokes. I make sounds like "huhuhuhuh", sometimes in my head and sometimes not, when I read a funny name on a business card (Mr. Assman, huhuhuh). I still skip when I walk around on the street. I hate and do not own a Blackberry. At work, I always have to try really hard to suppress my tendencies to clown around and think of immature and politically-incorrect jokes. But without that personality I'm just a boring, and bored, existence in the room.

Deep down inside, I know that it's probably not a matter of growing into a role, or anything like that - I simply do not have the personality trait that fits the typical manager image companies look for - not in my industry anyway. The whole "at this level"-expectations are largely restrictive on the way I act normally and naturally...

And this is probably just how the Workplace is. And this is where you should, I guess, compromise.

So why bother putting in more than 7.5 hours a day pretending to be someone that I am not? Give me a 9-5 job. Give me a role right below Manager. And let me have the lack of exposure because it means at least, I get to act like who I am, and feel a bit less like a sell-out...