I made some serious kickass beef stew last night and it just made my lunch-eating-at-desk a lot more bearable.
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On my walk to work today I was pondering about the reason why I ended up where I was - walking to work and dreading the arrival. It is hitting me more now due to my daily dealing with wealthy individuals heading into their retirement. It's obvious that people think success is how high you climb up the ladder and how much you end up with in your pocket... and success is synonymous with happiness. I think we're all just aiming to one day be the envy of other families talking about us during their dinner, and we're convinced that to achieve that you have to pay your dues now. One day one day.
One day I'll wake up 40 years old, as an upper-middle-management, and still complaining about the same shit as today. I have no idea what happened to my ambitions - I hate the rat race, the sucking up, the face times and the optics. It looks like everyone else hates it too and yet we're all attending networking events and talking to the douches (as my friend A says, those that go "Hi I'm Reginald from Merril Lynch").
What I could was to get into this rat race and safely earn moolah, which I did, as most sensible people. What I wanted to do (freelance graphics or something other artsy-fartsy or techy stuff) will in no way guarantee me income or success or happiness.
I have no solution whatsoever - having a stable income provides me with the basic needs of food and shelter, and a certain lifestyle, I can't go back to learning the fun stuff and going entry-level. In the mean time pride pushes me along - you get there just because you don't want to be left behind when all your friends move up.
I think this is how those Bitter Female Managers came to be.
actually i disagree. Doing something you really want to do might not bring income or success but it will give you happiness. You are not stranded or forced to do something you hate, you do something that you will like and love. If you find a job that you like/love, you won't mind working until the wee hours. And who cares about the bragging with families. We are asians, no matter what you do, unless you're a surgeon, you won't impress anybody.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm fortunate enough to be able to drop my life and start from scratch, but it doesn't mean that it's too late to do what you really love. Staying in your comfort zone is never a good idea. People like us can't deal with routine.
@mak2kthe start from scratch is a luxury reserved for someone who knows what they love....
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ReplyDeleteHahaha, Reginald! Hilarious name choice :)
ReplyDeleteI think you can totally get into graphics/techy stuff! It's what is in demand and will stay in demand until robots take over the world, or when mother nature doesn't want to deal with our abuse anymore and washes us all away in a global hurricane. Perhaps you can look into taking a course, or playing around with web design on your computer. It's all about the baby steps.
And you know I'm right there with you trying to figure out our little happy and sustainable place in the world :)
@Alisha
ReplyDeleteHaha, i'm a artsy fartsy tech lover, but i'm lazy above all - not to mention easily distracted. if i find happiness, what am i going to bitch about?!
seriously though, i will get started on that, i think - even as a hobby, it will be fun (well, at least for one semester, like all my other non-serious classes)