So this was initially going to be a Rant about Redbull topic and my prissy friend J decided that I needed to answer this question that he got during one of his recent job interviews. One of those behavioural (stupid spell check, it's spelled with a "u" in Canada thank-you-very-much) interviews I guess? First time I hear this question and it is kind of refreshing as opposed to "So tell me about a time when you were in a conflict situation at work...." Gah, I hate interviews.
So the question was "If you had to write an instruction manual about yourself, what would you include in it?"
Well first of all, it'd be from Taiwan so it's probably going to have an ugly Simsun font and all the typos ... cover page would probably have something along the lines of "Plese open for how-to DIY doremesh model 1.1. Careful read." Whoa, it actually hurt my head to type that and read it after. It's also sounding eerily like a real-doll user manual (honestly do they come with user manuals? I am now curious to find out). Hoooookay, shouldn't have googled. Freaked me out. Focus dammit, focus!
DIY doremesh model 1.1. Careful read.
Doremsh enjoy most witty humourous persons and stories. Give her dog or cat or wonderful animals with fuzzies - watch her happy! No Hello Kitty (Warning! Very Important!) or other "Asian-y crap and stupid plush toys". She is very strong feeling about them. Her favourite food? good home made chinese but no sweet. She likes play vidoegame and piano but her parents no strict so she no play good piano. Uh-oh! bad noises at home sometimes (I am sorry, no refund). Give her piano music - watch her happy! Give her nice people, game with words, books - watch her happy! Doremish need 8 hours sleep for optimal functioning until 80 maybe. Feed 3 times or more every day.
Doremihs dislikes: chinese ghosts and jumping zombies (very scary to her!), "typos" and stupidity (you ask her about this, try! witty humourous happy times, lots of things stupid for doremish such like "Rebdull"). If you pretentious or friends, careful. Bad food for empty stomach, careful. Hungry, careful. Lady shark week, VERY careful!! Sometimes no like shopping. If many people see doremish, Leave lonely one day or two day. Unhappy doremish maybe less 80 years functioning. No refund.
PS - Who else read it in their head with a Chinese accent? LOL.
I am NOT prissy. Haha. It's not my fault you told me what a wonderful topic that would be for your blog and then when you asked me what you should write about this time, I reminded you. That means I am the prissy friend that reminds prissy M on her own topiczzzzzz!!!
ReplyDeleteSo what did you google search turn up? Is there a simple yes/no answer? Do they come with manuals?
Next topic should be "If i were a Real-doll" which options would I come with? ha ha...
I read it with my sad asian accent. PART 2 time!
Nobody reads comments... in fact no one even really reads the blog, so your clarification doesn't really reach the audience. Prissy.
Deletewhy you write chinglish! head hurt...
ReplyDelete