For those who've had to learn a new language... you know there's always an awkward plateau where you start forgetting the old language and haven't yet mastered the new language. Currently, that's exactly how I feel towards my friends. It seems as though I'm slowly losing touch with the friends in Montreal, whereas I don't really know anyone well in Toronto yet. Kinda makes me wonder if I really have any friends. Every time I go back, I just feel more and more like a stranger to the city - things change, buildings go down, buildings go up, shops and stores close, people leave, people come.
And then I realize, I've always thought I loved changes.... 2008, 2009, everything was changing in my life. I had gotten my designation, moved to a new city, gotten a new job, friends, relationship, and a place to call my own... but in fact, I think I don't really like so many drastic changes. I remember having thought, back then when I was finishing undergrad, how nice it would be if time just stopped and I stayed 22 forever - living with my parents, doing well at school, young, energetic, meeting up with friends from time to time, and getting every Friday off.
Then some dude above took my snow-globe and shook the hell out of it.
It really took a while for everything to start settling, (some for the better, and, well, like I said, social aspects still requiring some more time) - and I'm going into my irrational stasis stage again. I look at my life now, I got a nine-to-five job that's boring but pays the bill, fun coworkers, good boyfriend, my own condo, a sister that lives "near", a dog I can visit, my ps3, and quite frankly, I don't really want anything to change. I have been putting off looking for a new job even though this one probably leads to nowhere, and I've been secretly happy that no one in the work clique has left yet... knowing that it won't last. A little apprehensive for the year to come... why can't we have save points in life?
Shakespeare hates your emo musings!
ReplyDeletehaha jk jk Mish.
me? losing touch with you? WHAAAAA??? LIES@! ALL LIES!!! lol
ReplyDeletechanges = good
but things always change, like or not......
ReplyDeleteand i'm glade at least u r happy now :)
sister lives near but she "visits" the dog... sigh...
ReplyDelete