Unwinding........

It never occurred to me when I was younger how good life was, to be sheltered from the pressure of sustaining myself. I can't believe i used to bitch about it, either...well that was when I was seven. The fact that one day I will have much more to worry about than a final project presentation seemed pretty improbable at the time. Anyway now I look at what stresses me at work and I tell myself, well at least i'm not saving a life... It always helps me put my job in the financial services industry into perspective - it is not a medical, life-death situation... The only thing I might kill is my job...

My mind works in a funny way, too - I'm probably the type of person that is more receptive to placebo effects. The fact that I have savings in my bank accounts (doesn't even have to be a lot) makes me more relaxed. It has an effect on me once I realize it. In the back of my mind where logic and reason don't like to hang out, if I can sell my condo, pay off debt and survive about six months then somehow i feel like I'm quasi-invincible. That's why sometimes to calm my work related nerves, I play a little game of "wonder how long can I survive if I lose the job". Well, except it didn't work the first couple of months after I bought my condo with all my savings :P The mental calcs during that period were depressing as hell.


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