more Christmas stuff, and tired but can't sleep, etc, etc.

Mon beeeau sapiiiin roi des forêt... Que j'aime ta verduuureeeuh....So I couldn't resist and got myself a 4.5 foot tree this weekend - I figured if it's going to make me happy every time I look at it, then it's a great investment. It's the prettiest thing in my condo now - all gold, silver and glass. Took me several hours to put it up and it'll be hell to take it down, and my shitty picture-taking skills can't do it any justice but there it is, in all its shiny glory. Sis... put yours up already! Need any help... I volunteer... Let's do Pink Silver and White!

Anyhow, I wonder why I'm so gun-ho about Christmas these past 2 years. Maybe because we've never celebrated Christmas, or any major holidays very seriously with lots of traditions ever since we moved to Canada. When I was little we used to celebrate all the major Chinese holidays, red envelopes, firecrackers, sticking the poems on the door, going to temples and looking at temple parades, making offerings to random spirits/ancestors, etc (might be a reason why I like crowds and noises?). I used to love the "winter vacation"... it was nice and cold outside, I had a million uncles aunts and cousins around, and firecrackers are awesome.

After we came here there was of course none of that. I look at our fellow immigrant families and some of them have decided to start going to Church and quoting the Bible all of a sudden, which I found silly - did they even believe it? So fake. I could bullshit my way through Sunday classes, but there is only so much hypocrisy I could do before I had to face the fact that I just didn't buy it from the people that were preaching it. There was no role model that could earn my respect enough to make me hear what they had to say.

So that was Christmas down the drain, for about 18 odd years...People who have always celebrated it probably don't know how boring it is for those that don't. Obviously, with all the expenses that comes with Christmas and typical western holidays (decorations, gifts, etc) it was probably also because we needed to be economical. Every Christmas, we'd do a hot-pot as a family... and celebrate spring with the Taiwanese spring rolls, and sticky rice balls. That's why Moms are great. Moms are the perpetuators of family traditions. They try and make do, and make sure it's still part of us somehow, modestly celebrating or not.



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I had a zombie dream but i'm too tired to type it out.... that'll be tomorrow.