One third of my life feels miserable right now

Feeling edgy today, spent the entire day working and feeling pressured to finish something that I don't even enjoy. Looking forward, it looks like there are weeks of the same old boring shit coming ahead. Also feeling the pressure of the results of my interviews, which in total was a 2-month-process. It's year end performance evaluation again, and I've pretty much given up on receiving recognition this year - a reality pill that is pretty hard to swallow because of a good rating last year. I take consolation in the fact that there is at least my life outside of the cubicle that makes me happy. Sleep. Time spent with friends. V.

Bleh, work. That 1/3 of my day used to be better, for about a year, it was the part that felt less miserable. You know they say that it's all about the people - it's true. Right now I feel so distanced from everyone because of where I am sitting. Because some friends left the group. No one talks in our pod. No one is chatty, or sometimes, present. It just makes hours seem longer.

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Wanted to get a bunny because they look so adorable. Read up on it and just gave up on the idea. It's not a dog but still a lot of responsibility. And it's dumber than a dog so probably won't be toilet trained. I don't think I can do that now, if I'm too lazy to take care of myself. I guess I'll just keep watching youtube clips of happy cuddly rabbits hopping around and go to pet stores.

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Christmas is coming up in 2 months. In the grand scheme of things, time flies. In the scheme of gift-giving, time effing flies.

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I sometimes wonder when I will go back to Taiwan again. Every time I think about spending 1300$ on airplane tickets I get hesitant - I can spend the same amount of money for one week in Europe including airplane and hotel, and there are so many other places I haven't seen yet. Then again - Taiwan has family and makes me think  maybe I should bring V, get him to know a bit more about me - but I guess we should start with somewhere closer like Montreal since soon enough, I would have lost touch with my friends in Montreal, and forgotten all about the festivals, and the summertime...

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Speaking of trips. I've pretty much given up on having a beach vacay this year. My muffin-top agrees.